First venture into teaching!

Well I went to visit Carlie on Saturday. It has been snowing ever since. Trains were cancelled and it seemed the snow would bring everything to a halt. I had fun with Carlie. It was kind of strange but I waited for her in the station and when I saw her I felt happy. Like she was a sister I haven't seen for a long time. We hugged and it felt nice. We ate burgers for lunch then jumped on the tube to go to the botanics. We took some pictures there, my first snow pics with a DSLR. Then we sat in the greenhouse and talked about the future and Taiwan. Then crazy Carlie decide she wants icecream. Then we walk along the river. We go home as it gets dark and eat dinner. It was good to hang out with Carlie and we just both talk. I think we both have shared experience with a loved one in a different country. Then I get ready to go home and she accompany me to tube station. Then we hug again. I feel lucky to know Carlie and feel we will be friends for long long time.

I study a couple of units for the teaching course as football is cancelled next day. I spend all day in the house. I talk to Evelyn. I watch American football again, and my fantasy team beats the top of the league guy so pleased about that.

Today I go to work and it is really snowy. The new manager start today and she seems nice enough. She actually really respectful to IT Dept as she knows how important it is. We get to go away early as the weather is so bad.

Tonight I went to meet Maria a Spanish girl who replied to my advert on gumtree for English lessons. She was early which is good sign. I just listen and assess her English. I think she is elementary/pre-intermediate. She can communicate but it is difficult for her. She is only here till 14th December then will go home to Madrid. She hopes to come back for a few months but is not sure. She told me that what she would like is to meet everyday as she wants to learn fast and if not everyday maybe 3 times a week till she goes home. She offers to pay me which startled me as I never really thought about payment too much. I said I would after a few lessons but never really thought it would happen. So she said she will pay me whatever. I have no idea what to charge lol I am not good at that stuff. I will probably do a couple of free lessons and see where it goes from there.

I have had a lot of interest in the lessons, so much that I am loosing a bit of track with it. I am getting too much interest from people who are more advanced and I think I want to start with people who are less accomplished. I think those people will be most interesting and rewarding.

I came home and decided to do my Apple pic as it needs posted on Meetup tomorrow.



I like it but maybe think my creativity is a bit weird, I don't know lol

Sleep tight my two loves, soon I will watch over you both. :)

Back from the Dead :)

Well I haven't really done my blog for a while. Been tired and sick. Had a really bad throat infection and just always felt like I was a bit run down.

Last weekend I did the first part of my TEFL course. It was really long and intensive, but it was interactive and the people were cool. I met a guy called David who lives in Macau and Nick and Mary a couple who are moving to Taipei. That was a shock but it was cool. I also just found out one of my friends friends works in Taipei. :)



Monday I was wiped out from the weekend, I couldn't actually muster any energy to do anything. Tuesday I had to go to a funeral for my brothers baby. That was weird and not fun. Afterwards we went to Nikki's parents for the wake. It was cool there I got to play with a Marmuset Monkey. He was nuts he held my finger and it was touching his little hands and face. But he also scratched me so remember no matter how cute an animal has don't be fooled it still has the ability to hurt you lol

Before going to the funeral I put an ad on gumtree offering English lessons for free, so I can get some experience of teaching. I got around 5 replies and I am in communication with a couple about lessons. The plan is to give maybe 4 or 5 lessons for free then that is it. Then I can offer free lessons again to other people.



I had an argument with my mum and Auntie at my brothers house. They annoyed me about how they were talking about Taiwan, they dont know anything so I just found myself suddenly protective of Taiwan. I told them to shut up and told them that I was going to Taiwan partly because of them and how they are. I then left, but my brother came after me. We went for a walk and talked. I stayed at my brothers for a while after and it was cool. I also sold him my weights. I will try again and do some activities with him before I go to Taiwan.



Today I was back at work, it was really busy but went quick. Afterwards I went to the gym for the first time in ages. It was tough but good, I need to keep going to keep me healthy. Then I went shopping for food and bought a lovely dinner. MMMMM



MMMMM Jealous Eve?

November 12th 2010 - Sick of being Sick!!!

Well I haven't posted for the last couple of days due to being sick. I have been of work last couple of days. I woke up on Wednesday and my throat was killing me and I could only hear out one ear. I went to work but didn't feel great at all. So decided to go home and I would call the doctor for an appointment which would be probably in the future some time. I called and they told me the next appointment was in 1 and a half weeks. I said well can't I see someone before I think I have an ear infection. She said I could get an emergency appointment but it would only be for 5 minutes. I said ok, when? 11.30 was the reply. Ummm today? I asked bemused. YEH!!!! So I went there and they told me that they would give me penicillin but I should try and not take them if I don't have too. So I had to ride it out for two days and then if not gone start the meds. Well today I had to get them meds and use them. I feel better but not 100%. I hope to recover before Sunday so I can play football. There is nothing I hate more than having no energy, I am used to being active and I feel imprisoned in this state. Can't do anything really, but on the other hand maybe I am meant to relax and recover, maybe it is my bodies way of making me listen lol.

I haven't even had the feeling to do photography either, it is harder to do it at home, takes more setup what with lighting etc. But I took a couple of pics to liven this blog up a bit. First of which is coming up .... (queue drum roll)


Edinburgh at night view from Calton Hill, not the best but it was bloody freezing and windy so I am happy with the result.

So as I said today I went to the chemist to get the penicillin and then I went to the shops for supplies, it is important to keep your strength up when sick. I even got pineapple which does make your throat feel better. Well I had this really strange feeling today when I was walking around the store and walking home with the shopping. It's hard to describe but I came to feel like that at the moment in time right now my life just felt like a dream like state. You know nothing seemed really tangible or fully there. Like everything looked normal but didn't feel right and that is exactly how I feel in LIMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So all in all in that moment I realised that I felt nothing. It is quite strange and discontenting. But one one positive it got me thinking about writing again. Seems that my creative writing goes hand in hand with turmoil or strange feelings lol.


The pills I have to take :(

So I came home and put my shopping away, took some pills and made some tea. Then I talked to Evelyn. Well I say talked, there was no talking involved on my part as my throat hurts like hell. It was nice to see her though. But with each day she feels further away and more like a dream. It really makes me feel that the task ahead is going to be a long and hard one. These pills really suck. I hate having to take pills. Never liked them since I was a kid, always had problems swallowing them. I would usually just ride out a cold or headache, but this time I am too weak.



So some good news ... I got an email from the Poem Catcher, telling me that he was publishing my poem which is kind of awesome I thought it had maybe blew away when they threw them up for the shot. But alas no, I am to be published :) He asked me to provide a picture so I think I will either send him the picture of me wearing the 3D glasses or the one of me and Eve as vampire which I edited and posted below this.



I am kind of glad though, you know when he came to photocamp and asked for poems I was not interested. Eve asked me to write one and I couldn't. He asked us to write them and I honestly didn't think I could come up with one in 1 minute. Then all in a sudden I got some inspiration. Yeh it is only two verses but on the spot pressure I think it was decent effort and I was pleased at how I could get the creative juices flowing under pressure. It terrified me at first but then I realised that I kind of liked it. I miss writing. So I had the feeling to finish my story which I will probably look at tomorrow as my first writing escapade was this blog. :)

So tonight I chilled and watched Scott Pilgrim versus the World. I like that movie it is stupid but fun and it reminds me of when Eve and I went to see it. Lol it is funny the girl Knives reminds me of Evelyn. She is my Knives, I will nickname her that. I miss her a lot which is strange for me, I am so used to it just being me against the World, but now it has all changed.

I hope I feel better tomorrow I want to get out the house for a bit and escape the prison. Fancy going to see the movie Skyline just for some SciFi escapism.

R

November 8th 2010

Well not a huge amount happened today. I was really tired as I stayed up really late to watch the American Football, but I at least destroyed Loic in the fantasy football league. Which was fun as he was telling me how he was going to win, so karma bit him in the ass. :)

Work today was really busy which is cool as the day kind of went fast. I got a lot achieved despite being tired which is a bonus. All in all though work was the same as usual, boring, boring!

I got an email from TEFL and they asked me to pay the balance due on the course fees. Which I did so will start in two weeks. I am a little excited but really scared, not fully sure what it all entails yet it is not really that clear. I am worried about my confidence, worried that I will let my shyness get over me and not perform in a group or that my throat will tighten up and make it difficult to speak or my voice will stay really low due to nerves. But I guess I don't know what it will be like till I am there, hopefully it is cool and I can find a way to keep my confidence. Any way I have no choice any more, seems my life is decided by other things these days. I no longer have control.



On the way home from work I bought a new webcam, which should hopefully sort out the problems Eve and I have had with communicating on skype. It is more modern and better than my old one. I will test it soon. It was a reduced price too so that is always good.

Tonight I went shopping, got lots of fruit and some beef. I made noodle soup for dinner, ofcourse there was too much again so I had two big bowls full, yum yum.

After dinner I did the first section of my learn mandarin book, it went ok but need to keep doing it to get more used to the listening and pronounciations. It is a very hard language to learn and it is going to be difficult, but hey it's not like anything for me is easy right now any way. :)



My images today are not so great but it is all I had feeling for due to tiredness.

R

November 7th 2010

Today I woke up quite early, and as I play American Football on Sundays I usually just chill out until around 12. I had some breakfast watched some battlestar galactica and then spoke to Eve again.

I then grabbed my bike and cycled to the Meadows to play football. Today there were a lot of players so we got the always fun opportunity to have two pitches and 4 teams of 4 and a mini tournament. I was on a team of five but it wasn't so bad as one of the guys was a bit more out of shape and subbed out regularly. The Meadows was a mud bath today, made it difficult to cut and grab any purchase for taking of on blinding runs. I did score around 4 touchdowns and I dropped two as well but the conditions were to blame honest lol All in all it was a good game, we all bought new flag belts so it took some time assembling them but they are way better and don't fall off like the old velcro ones, they have a little stopper insert and make a satisfying pop when tackled so you at least know you have been tackled.

Didn't have much opportunity to take any pics today but here is my first one to describe how bad the field was.



After football I went to visit my mum before going home as she lives really close to the Meadows. When I got in she made me some homemade potato soup, which she put in a huge bowl, it was a lot of soup but it was tasty none the less. I talked with her a bit about some general stuff and Eve etc. She also talked to me about the impending funeral of my brothers baby. It is normal that my brother etc stand in a line and greet the people and thank them for coming and let them say their condolences. My brother said to my mum that he isn't doing it, which is understandable seeing as it is a baby I think he will be cut up and want to go away and deal with the whole affair. So my mum asked me if I would do it, I said I would in place of my brother. It is going to be hard that day but I will be the strong one for everyone.

I told my mum about the TEFL course and that it starts in two weeks. She asked when I had to pay the difference for the course and I told her before it starts. I went to the bathroom and when I came back she gave me £125 and said that is for the course. I am extremely touched by this as this is my mums way of showing me support. She is not the type of tactile mother who gives hugs or tells you they love you or are proud of you or anything like that. What she does is simply helps you when she can. By giving me the money she is supporting mine and Evelyn's future. I left my mums and when cycling home I felt quite emotional.



I got home and finished of my ironing while watching American Football. My team got beat but hey that's ok. I am playing Loic in fantasy football and so far I am winning. I really want to win as he was trying to trash talk me. Sundays are good days :)

November 6th 2010

Last night I stayed up till 2am to watch the Ice Hockey, glad I did though as my team won 3-0 against their rivals so got to be pleased about that. Woke up around 9am. Didn't really do much today, just chill out a little. I had to go out for around 2PM so didn't do much before that.



I got to speak to Eve again today and she asked me if I wanted to say hello to her brother, Leo. To be honest I didn't really know what to say but said yeh ok, I guessed he would maybe say thanks for the cds. Turns out that almost all her family where there. My mic doesn't work so couldn't talk much, but we saw each other. I also saw her mum and dad and got to wave lol that was kind of weird but they seem nice. I enjoyed speaking to and seeing Leo, it was cool to see how happy he was about the CDs. I think he got a bit excited though, but he seems cool. I guess I never really thought about it until now, but the accident must have been bad. It is a shame that happens to anyone never mind someone young. It kind of makes it scary that in a split second something that is nothing to do with you can immediately change your life.

Anyway I am sure he will recover fully, he seems very bright with a lot of fight in him and when I get over their I will do anything I can to help him. It is the least I can do. He called me his big brother-in-law today which was cool and I am sure we two will get along fine, we share interests in music and basketball.



After that I went to meet my old Spanish friend Miguel. We had lunch with some other Spanish people. It was good to catch up with him it has been a while. He has travelled a lot and we chatted about that and he was very supportive. It was a fun time. After eating we went to a quaint little tea room to have more chat. Miguel told me that when I go to Taiwan I should fly to Madrid, then fly from Madrid to Taiwan. He invited me to stay at his place. Maybe when the time comes I will look into that.

I then said goodbye and headed to Cineworld to watch Jackass in 3D. I went in alone which was a little weird. While I was sitting there I felt strange, this was the first time of going to cinema without Evelyn. So I sat there and was filled with memories of all the times we would go to the cinema and talk or play around before the movie started. Tonight though I had a kind of alien feeling, you know kind of like out of place or like something was not quite right. The movie was kind of funny in bits, really stupid and disgusting in others, but I had wanted a no-brainer and in 3D was a bonus lol



Today it has rained really heavy non-stop almost so I didn't get a chance to capture an image or two today, so when I came home I thought I would do a self-portrait for fun lol, hence the reason for the pics. I didnt set up the lighting, I just played around with some stuff. In the end I shot with my cable release and hand held my flashgun to increase the lighting. Then I thought it would be fun to make the pic black and white and colour pop the very iconic red and blue lenses of the glasses.

Tomorrow I play Flag Football and I am really looking forward to it.

Richie

Remember, remember the 5th of November

Well today I was so tired again but good thing was it was a half day as it is every Friday yippee! Usually on Friday I do a language exchange with my Taiwanese friend Lynn. But this Friday she was too tired so rescheduled. I was glad though as really tired myself.



So I made my way home instead and looked forward to talking to my future wife, Evelyn. We were both really tired and we had technical difficulties so it didn't go as good as it could have. I do miss her though. She showed me around the new place and it looked cool I have to admit. I was a wee bit freaked out when she told me her father was asking about me. Yikes!!!!!!!!!!



I am sure it will be fine when I get there, I can charm them I guess. Maybe they just want to make sure I am good enough for their daughter, I often wonder this myself. Maybe she could do better than me. Maybe I am thinking too much but this is what happens to your mind when you are so far apart.



I still seem to have a sore stomach so just ate cereal instead of cooking and ate lots of fruit. I am looking forward to tomorrow and seeing my Spanish Friend Miguel who is over from Madrid.

Hopefully I will get to talk to Evelyn as well :)

Tonite just been chilin out and then tried to play around with photography again. I am not sure how well it is turning out, but it is ok for only the second time. I still with I had both lights, but man they are hot. I took the pic of the playstation controller and it was almost melting lol



Time to chillax with some Battlestar Galactica!

Richie

November 4th 2010

Well this morning starts like most of the others recently with a bout of insomnia ... nothing worse than being woken up by an alarm after not sleeping so well. :(

Work today was really busy as usual, dealing with a lot of the usual problems but at least it was only till 4.30. My day was a bit sketchy with my bank card refusing to work. I called the bank and they said it was fine but they would order me a new one and I should try it in a RBS machine to see if it will work. which it didn't, was able to take money out though from inside the bank which means I was able to eat spaghetti bolognese with Meatballs mmmm



So as I still had to deliver at least one image I decided after dinner to play around with my lighting. I chose the subject of a pair of 3D glasses just cause they remind me of the 80s I guess. I suspended a sheet of white art paper from my TV, held up by ornaments and pushed the coffee table up close and put a smaller piece of card to make it all white and professional looking. I wanted to get black as well but the Art shop was shut and the stationary store was out of black.



Everything was going well, even got my remote triggers working sweet with my Flash unit off the camera, so set up the light put in a new bulb, switch it on, nothing? What the hell? Took it out put in the other new bulb, switched it on, BOOM! Damn that is £10.99 down the tubes. I think one of the lighting units could be faulty so I set up the other one, what have I got to loose right?

This time it works and I spend the next hour and a half playing around with settings trying to get a feel for what I want to achieve. I guess I was looking to create a simple image with all being white, but really vibrant red and blue lenses. then I played around with light position to create some shadow which I think worked.



This was my first attempt at messing around with lights at home and I had fun, I will continue to mess around with different subjects to learn more and more.

I am going to chill out now and watch a new series about Zombies called the Walking Dead.

R

November 3rd 2010

Well I haven't really been one for the whole blogging thing, but recently with my girlfriend heading to the other side of the World it would give me a way to keep in contact and keep my photography going after agreeing to deliver at least one image a day to accompany the words. Although thinking about it, I guess it also gives me a forum for writing too.



Mission accomplished :)

Well today I woke up with the strangest feeling, I simply felt that I didn't want to be here any more. I am not talking about "wish I was never born" scenario, more like I have accepted that my life is meant to continue somewhere else and at the moment feel a bit in limbo. Wish I had a fast forward button, but I guess we all do.



Image 2 - Me trying to be a bit abstract but probably failing lol

So today I decided to try and photograph this building near the gym Evelyn and I used to go together. It always interested me because of the red at night. It was bloody freezing and a challenge at night but I managed to get something done.

During my photographic exploits a strange thing happened. I once read "His Dark Materials" by Philip Pullman and the two characters at the end who are in love but cannot be together (and live in two different worlds) agree to meet visit a certain bench at a certain time in each of their respective words and that way they can kind of be together, which I really liked. Today I thought about this sentiment and it came to me as I pushed my eye towards the diopeter I suddenly felt that as I rolled through the familiar almost automatic setup for capturing a shot with my Nikon (most of my previous shooting involved Evelyn) that somewhere on the otherside of the World she was doing the same with her camera. In that exact moment I drew comfort from thinking that when I use my camera I can imagine this connection and it made me smile :)

So now I am back to all the preparation for getting myself to the other side of the World, where I can be where I belong, with Eve.

"Untitled"

No matter how much I want to
I won't turn to face you
As I am walking away to the door
My shoulders slump with the burden of knowing
I would see you cry
So I cannot look you in the eye.

It may seem unkind
or even cowardly
This time I can't

let you change my mind

I shake my head as I slowly open the door
Stepping into the cold, dark night
Feeling sorry that I just can't do this any more.

I was always so damn weak
is probably what you will say
Although, you have no idea

how much strength it takes to
Love you and walk away